BFF Grandmother I need to talk to you

Grandma [concerned voice] What? What is it? Are you sick?

BFF No, no. Grandma. I'm gay.

Grandma What?

BFF I'm gay Grandma. I have a girlfriend now.

Grandma [relieved voice] Oh honey, is that all? I thought you had cancer. Anytime someone needs to tell me something they are sick. Who's your girlfriend, when is her birthday? I'll bake her a pie.